B9: The day when body shaming will stop.

 

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself” – Thick Nhat Hanh.

The day when body shaming will stop.

Mr. and Mrs. Body Shaming went to a wedding. Let us follow their conversation. 

“Wow! Great decoration. Seems like the parents have spent all their savings”, commented Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Or they might have taken a loan? Huh, show off!”, scoffed Mr. Body Shaming.

They kept walking at a very slow speed, staring and judging every other thing, every other human being that came across their way.

“Oh, look at that girl, Mrs. Aluhwalia’s daughter, has she lost weight again? Is she dieting? If she doesn’t stop now, she might fly in a swift wind, hah”, she joked.

“Look at her younger brother there, it seems like he is the older one. Let’s go and talk to them”, he suggested.

The pair walked by the crowd, smiling at everyone and judging them in their minds. They reached the Aluhwalia siblings.

“Priya, my sweet little girl. How are you? You look sick. Don’t you eat food? Where are your parents? Eating your share of food?”, she laughed looking at her husband as if she made a world-class funny joke.

“Hello, Aunty. No, nothing is wrong. I get my share of food, you don’t need ‘to worry about my parents’ parenting' ”, Priya replied.

“Nice, good. And what about you Ranveer? Do you eat all your sister’s ration?”, again Mr. Body Shaming thought he made a good joke and laughed at it with his wife.

Ranveer felt humiliated and insulted. He didn’t utter a word. His sister defended him saying, “He is facing thyroid and stress, which have caused weight gain. Maybe not laughing would help”.

Mr. and Mrs. Body Shaming felt disrespected. They frowned and moved on.

“Manner-less kids! This generation is doomed”, complained Mr. Body Shaming.

"Look over there, Ranjan and Mahira, I don't understand the reason behind their short height. They are 23 and 21 years old  (respectively) neither of them looks like that. They have finished their college and still look like school-going kids", commented Mrs. Body Shaming.

Mr. Body Shaming replied, "Look over there, those two boys maybe they are siblings, they can help us change our bulbs".

“Oh, look over there. Mrs. Gossip, she must have information about everyone. Let’s go and talk to her”, suggested Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Hello. Hello. How are you?”, she asked.

“I am great! What about you? Heard your children left your home and live alone now”, Mrs. Gossip asked.

“She is trying to get gossip from us. How dare she ask me about my kids!?”, she thought.

“Kids are kids. They wanted their freedom”, answered Mr. Body Shaming.

“Tell me about those Mishras there. They must be tense, right? Their only daughter is so dark and has gained weight. They must be in great trouble to find a man for their daughter’s wedding”, she asked.

“No, they found one man. He is a rich guy, I have heard. Good money, good job, good family but I think he is bald and short”, Mrs. Gossip spilled the tea.

“Of course, he has to be bald and short, where will they get a Hrithik Roshan for a girl like her?”, she thought she joked again. So funny, right?

“I agree. Have you heard about Sharma ji’s son?”, Mrs. Gossip asked.

“No, what about him? He is such a handsome guy. Did they find someone for him?”, asked Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Yes, but the girl they chose for him is very skinny. She doesn’t suit the boy. I don’t know why they would do that. Could have waited for a while, they could have asked for Pandit’s daughter. She is so beautiful, perfect height, fair skin tone, perfect body, a real beauty!”, Mrs. Gossip said.

“The girl’s family must have agreed to pay a good dowry or we can say expensive gifts”, Mr. Body Shaming winked.

“Yes, that could be possible”, agreed Mrs. Body Shaming. She added, “Now look at this couple only (pointing out to the bride and the groom) groom’s parents found a perfect daughter-in-law, she looks flawless”.

“Yes, very true. Even I am searching for a daughter-in-law; fair skin, slim body, and height good enough to match my son”, said Mrs. Gossip.

“I wish you get someone like that. See over there, how much weight has she gained since the last time we saw her?”, Mrs. Body Shaming asked her husband.

“Not less than a year, I guess”, he replied.

“She has a job in a top-class multinational company. I have heard that she is in a top position”, Mrs. Gossip shared.

“Top position!? With that figure?”, Mrs. Body Shaming couldn’t believe it.

“Stop talking about her, she is coming this way with her younger and slimmer sister along with her mother”, warned Mr. Body Shaming.

“Hello, hello Mrs. Khanna, hello kids!”, greeted Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Hello, How are you?”, asked Mrs. Khanna.

“Oh, we are all great. What about you? Look at your kids. All grown-up girls. Did you gain weight Suhana?”, she finally asked.

Suhana got awkward. She looked at her mother and then at her sister. She then said, “Sorry, aunty? Are you asking about my weight? Do you notice me all the time, to know that I have gained weight? Well that is firstly creepy and then very much unethical to even ask”, Suhana snapped.

“Unethical? No, my girl, you got her wrong here. We just noticed that you have happened to have gained weight and look fatter than the last time we saw you”, Mr. Body Shaming tried to justify his wife’s words.

“Wow!”, sarcastically exclaimed Suhana’s sister.

“Yes, we are concerned about you”, added Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Concerned, for what exactly?”, asked Suhana.

“For your life, dear. Who will marry you if you are fat and constantly keep gaining weight? No good boy would want to marry you. Leave good, no man will want to marry you. And I don’t think you want t be alone”, explained Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Wow!”, again her sister exclaimed, sarcastically.

“Okay, so let me get this straight. You are ‘concerned’ about me because no one will marry me as I am overweight or in your words ‘Fat' ”, said Suhana.

“Yes”, answered Mrs. Body Shaming.

“Okay, great. Thank you so much Aunty for your concern but I think you are wasting your concern on the wrong things. You should be concerned if I am healthy or not? You should be concerned whether I am sick or ill or for what reason I have gained weight. You should be concerned that this increasing weight of mine may cause serious health issues in the near future to me. But wait, you just shouldn’t be concerned. It is not your right to speak about me, comment about my weight issues or talk about my body”, explained Suhana.

Source: www.herzindagi.com

Mrs. Body Shaming interrupted, “No dear. I didn’t mean that”.

“Oh, Aunty please wait, I am not done here. If a guy doesn’t marry me because of my body, because it is overweight, too slim, my height too short or too long, basically if he denies to marry me because of my physique which he assumes is faulty, then I doubt if he is a good man for me or for anyone. What if I lose my weight and he marries me but then later I gain weight again? Will he then leave me? I need no man, especially not such a man to live my life with. I have a job that doesn’t, fortunately, doesn’t require me or judge me for my body shape. I can live my life on my own. Commenting about anyone’s physical appearance, making fun of it, or judging their lifestyle is not cool, Aunty. There are reasons why a person has a certain body shape. Having no knowledge about it and commenting on it may hurt them even more. There are people who are dealing with different health issues, stress issues, and other such reasons which are causing their weight to fluctuate. And if we talk about height, it is mostly genetics, blaming them or making fun of them is not cool! I am proud of my body! I love my body and I do my best to keep myself healthy and any person commenting on it, wouldn’t be tolerated. Learn to respect people for who they are, these physical appearances, change but a person, his/her core values never, so love a person for what they are in their core, and not what they look like! I repeat physical beauty vanishes in time, but a person’s values and principles never do. It was good to talk to you, Aunty. I don’t know when or if we meet again whether you’ll see me as a girl with weight fluctuations or as a girl who is trying to live her life independently. I wish good health to you, enjoy the food”, she smiled at all three of them and walked with her family away.

 

Can we stop this body shaming?
An act that is not required,
Can we stop commenting?
The words which are not needed,
Can we stop judging?
For that is not allowed,
Can we stop talking about physiques?
As it does not matter,
Let us look beyond physical beauty,
And appreciate the person,
For if the inner core is strong,
The outer cannot be wrong!

By,

Humaira Kazi.

(PS: The comments Mr. and Mrs. Body Shaming made are the comments I have heard and hence have mentioned those here. The names used are completely random, any resemblance is coincidental)